'Misspoke' Is Not A Word

While it's true that English is an ever-changing language, strongly influenced by usage, 'misspoke' is unnecessary and should be radically excised before it gains a foothold in the lexicon. It should be taken out and shot by a firing line of sharpshooting librarians and hurled down the fiery volcano where it was ineffectually patched together out of toy-factory rejects.

If you would like to say that you were wrong or misinformed, received a false report, stammered, used the wrong word, tripped over your own tongue and came a nasty cropper in front of a battalion of White House reporters, just say it. Don't muck about.

Maybe you're afraid that somewhere in the world, someone giggled while watching a translation of what you said on a tiny black-and-white television with rabbit ears in his or her yurt, crumbling tenement, underground bunker, or marble palace. Just send the U.S. Army over there to clear up the confusion; don't mangle your own native tongue out of pansy-hearted cowardice.

Next time you make a mistake, and we all make them, feel free to admit it. Get it off your chest. Blame the Republicans. Lie if you have to. Tell us your momma drank and forgot to read to you, and your father was in 'France'. Say you thought they had WMDs at the time, or your wife asked you to, or you said it to intimidate the Soviets. But don't be ridiculous: don't tell us you misspoke, or we will never listen to another word you try to lay on us, squeeze into our ears, or butter us with. Anyone who uses a non-word such as 'misspoke' can't be trusted to wield the language with the least fluency, let alone represent us.