With a spring in our step we hopped off of the 30 bus onto Wisconsin Avenue last Thursday (9/7) evening and headed east down Garfield, noting the glow illuminating the steeples of the Washington's National Cathedral. As a proud law abiding citizen, I had refused, under much duress mind you, to park illegally in Glover Park. (My sister assured me that the Zone 3 spaces near her apartment are not likely to be enforced.)
Lo and behold, upon returning to the space that I had so lovingly selected, not so much for its scenic view, but for its unique lack of parking restrictions, I quicky observed that my car had vanished!
Unflappable as ever, I cooly deduced that either the car had been stolen or DC's finest had moved it. Upon further inspection it was apparent that the latter was more probable, in view of the obscure and torn "emergency no parking" poster that now graced the telephone pole lurking nearby. I don't know when the sign appeared there other than to say that it was some time after I had parked my car. So, after wrangling with a couple of 911 operators over my not-so-trusty mobile I learned that indeed it had been moved about a mile down the street.
Needless to say the dispatcherette was cheerful, effusively apologetic and explained to me right away why they needed to move my car. Just kidding. But I put those thoughts behind me as we hurtled down the street in my silver VW (I swear I was not speeding), albeit clutching a $20 parking ticket on which the "Other" box had been checked and the words "Emergency No Parking" written in. I noted the time on the ticket was 4:08pm and speculated as to the cause of said emergency. I figured it must have been something to do with the Vice President, considering he lives in the neighborhood and has a known propensity for diabolical plots. Little did I know it was actually the Axis of Evil.
The next morning over breakfast as I glanced at my copy of the Post it hit me. The front page pictured a distinguished looking gentleman in a flowing black robe and the characteristic black turban which marks a descendant of the prophet Muhammad. The caption read "Mohammed Khatami, former president of Iran, speaks at Washington National Cathedral. During his visit to the capital, Khatami called for a dialogue between the Islamic world and the West. About 200 people protested outside the cathedral." The article explained further that as he spoke "hundreds of diplomatic security officials, including their own SWAT teams, surrounded the church grounds".
"No wonder!" I thought as I read on with interest, hypothesizing that the protesters had had their cars towed too. But I soon thought less of the idea when I read that they were demanding regime change in Iran. They paraded pictures of torture victims and the deposed shah, Reza Pahlavi. (Clearly it was a Persian crowd.) But it is hard to see the connection between the former Iranian president, an outspoken reformer, and these protests. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to protest against the Supreme Leader or members of the judiciary like Saeed Mortazavi who actually wielded the powers these protestors were decrying?
Similarly a handful of American politicians adapted the occasion to their own mercurial ends. Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney declared that his state will not provide security for the mujtahid's visit to Harvard. Similarly Senator Brownback and Congressman Sherman burst a few blood vessels of their own on the floors of their respective chambers, citing Iranian human rights violations and, breaking new ground for absurdity, conflating Khatami with the 1979 hostage crisis.
Considering the logic of these recriminations then, I feel no shame in asking - no, demanding - that President Khatami pay my $20 parking ticket. I prefer PayPal. Moreover, the next time he is passing through Atlanta, from which green city I hail, it would seem altogether fitting and conciliatory that he buys me lunch (sir, do you like south Indian food?).
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